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"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."; "Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?"; "When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them."; "Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts."; "True Yankees are born, not made."; …"Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind."; "If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks."; "I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball."; "I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once."; "I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating."; "I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field."; "I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it."; "Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing."
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